A Christmas Reflection

Christmas and Advent are usually joyous and festive occasions for which people cannot wait because of all the presents and traditions that come with this time of year. However, here in South Sudan, it has been very different. First of all, there has been absolutely zero commercialization of Christmas. I have yet to see an ad or anything telling me to buy this or that, an advertisement showing something on sale, nor the media reminding me that I need to get something for my friends and family. Come to think of it, it doesn’t even feel like Christmas at all. In what is usually a festive and joyful time in my life, I have sensed a different kind of environment here. It is one of fear. On December 15, 2013 fighting broke out in Juba where Machar, the ex-vice president tried to stage a coup and take over the government. This started a month or more of fighting when the volunteers from last year had to go to Kenya for some time. This year, there have been rumors that the rebels may use this as a rallying point. Many here were, and still are, scared that fighting will break out once more. Luckily, it seems as if the government is prepared for an attack this time and has beefed up its defenses, which means that there has not been any fighting as of yet. However, with this anniversary coming in Advent, so close to Christmas, and especially Gaudete Sunday, the season has taken a more somber and cautious tone. One can wonder, how is it even possible to rejoice (gaudete) when such fighting threatens to break out at any point? Back at home, it never really seemed that hard to rejoice during Advent and Christmas. It meant that there was much less time until I got to open all the presents and eat cookies, etc. Although finals week came during Advent and I would have been stressed, I knew that it would be over soon and I would be at home to celebrate Christmas at home with no homework or studying to do. However, here it is a little bit harder to rejoice. Many here can easily think back to last year and remember exactly where they were on December 15th when the fighting started. They can recall the fear and the nervousness they experienced. Last year, they could not even decorate the church for Christmas because the refugees had fled the killings in their villages and came to seek shelter here. They were sleeping in the Church in fear for their lives. Although fighting has not broken out this year, you could still sense tension in the people’s faces during this time. Christmas has taken a back seat as they worry about surviving. So how can we rejoice? The word “gaudete” is in the imperative form of the verb “to rejoice.” This means that we are being commanded to feel joy. Even through all the pain and suffering, we are still told to be joyful. Why? How? Henri Nouwen describes joy as “the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing -- sickness, failure, emotional distress, oppression, war, or even death -- can take that love away." It is because we know that Christ is much greater than all this suffering and will love us regardless. It is because we know the extent of Christ’s love where He sacrificed everything to become human, to become one of His own creation to freely offer his life for the mistakes and sins that they committed. It is the time when our God lowered himself to nothing to give us everything. That is why despite the pain and suffering that people may be experiencing, we are still called to rejoice. It is part of the reason why refugees come to this compound and ask to sleep in the church. They feel protected in the Church; they feel safe. They feel joy. This is why despite this time of tension and bad memories, people will still flock to the church on Christmas to celebrate the coming of the one who loves us unconditionally.

The Church decorated for Christmas

Setting up for Midnight mass

Mamas waiting for Christmas Mass

14 children were baptized that night.

The manger for baby Jesus that I helped to decorate

Someone's attempt at taking a picture of me

The nativity scene that I helped to build