“MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
― Thomas Merton
As it gets closer and closer to the day where I go to Flores, I cannot help but feel a mixture of excitement, anticipation, and anxiety. Ever since the first time I went to the rural, poor parts of Indonesia, I knew I would be passionate about serving those that are less fortunate than I am. In high school, this passion was strengthened through the Tijuana Mission Club. From there, I knew that I wanted to do something more, something that required me to give up more of myself and to actually live as the poor live. It is only fitting that I get this opportunity in the place where I first realized this passion of mine. Although I do not know what I will be doing there, or how the people will treat me, or how well I will adjust to the way of life there both physically and emotionally, I find myself free of worry and filled with unending excitement. I cannot wait to open myself to a whole new experience away from the comfort of the US. I cannot wait to give myself completely to their community and live in solitude with the people and become one of them. Even though I am nervous that my Indonesian is only subpar, I look forward to interacting with the people and hearing their stories.
Through this wave of emotion, I have realized that I would not feel this pure excitement of going if it were not for the love of the people that have surrounded me. Yes, I am talking about you. Your love and support is the force that allows me to confidently go to an unknown place and feel like I'm doing the right thing. It is through your love and support that I will be able to give myself to the people of Flores. The love you have shown me only what I hope to be able to give to the people of Flores.
I am not much of a blog writer, or any kind of writer for that matter, but I wanted to start this one for you. I hope that through this blog, I will be able to show you where all your love, support and donations are going. I hope to be able to give you a little glimpse into the life of the people in Flores through my experiences there.
As of now, I do not know how much internet connection I will have there, or if I will have any at all. I will post pictures and journal reflections on here as often as possible. Thank you again for all of your love and support and I look forward to sharing with you a bit of my experiences.
-KKho
