Easter Light

Ever since spending Holy Week at Notre Dame my freshman year, that week had become one of my favorite weeks of the year. Everything at Notre Dame was so well planned, grand, and spiritual. The homilies were exquisite and complimented the insights that I was learning in theology class. Through seeing what Holy Week was truly about and why we celebrate it year after year, I really fell in love with the mystery and love that this week represents. South Sudan had some really big shoes to fill in terms of Holy Week liturgical celebrations.

Now, the liturgies here may not have been as grand, or well planned as in Notre Dame, nor the homilies very insightful, but it was absolutely perfect for me. The church in South Sudan is very young, so the foundation is still being set. Many people would call themselves Catholic, but most of them would not be able to tell you why they are Catholic, or what it means to be Catholic. Thus, it is very hard for them to see the true mystery and love that we celebrate during Holy Week and Easter. It is hard for them to plan a huge celebration or a grandiose liturgy when they do not understand why that is necessary. Because of this, the liturgies were very simple and almost like any other mass. It really was a change of pace for me, but perfect nonetheless. 

One of the things that really struck me that week happened during the Easter Vigil Mass. Actually, it wasn’t even during mass, but after mass. The mass started earlier than usual, at 7:00 PM because if it ends too late it becomes too dangerous for people to walk back to their homes. The candles were handed out at the soccer field, and we all processed to the church with these candles that were lit from the new Easter Candle, just like at home. In the middle of mass I got up and walked out of the church to take some pictures. I found so many people gathering right outside of the church! There were more people outside than inside! They were there, gathering together, not really paying attention to what was going on in the church. There were kids playing and people socializing. It was kind of strange to me, but the people had come not necessarily for the mass, but to gather together at night and socialize and play together. Although this is not ideal Church behavior, it made me think that the Church, especially during Easter, is a time to unite all people. It should not matter who the people are; all should be welcomed. So especially in South Sudan where people have been fighting for so many years, and violence was a part of their culture, it was great to see that during Easter, many people got to come together and be united, even if they were not necessarily there for the liturgy. 

The people emerging from the church, using the light of Christ to guide them home.

So the vigil mass went on maybe until 10:00 PM. Of course, the sun had already gone down. Like I have already written about in my previous blog post, people here do not have electricity and so they have no light. So at 10:00 PM it was pitch black and the people had to find their way home through uneven dirt roads. Then, an amazing thing happened. They took the candles they had received from the beginning of mass and lit them. They used this light to illuminate the darkness and guide them on their journey home. It was such a beautiful image to see hundreds of lit candles emerging from the church. It was as though they were taking the light of God that they had received at Church and using it to accompany them through the darkness back to their homes. Many of us receive the light of Christ at Church, but just leave it there because there is no use for it outside. Although a lot of the world has lit streets and an abundance of light, much of our lives are still filled with darkness. Maybe it is this abundance of artificial light that causes us to think that we don’t need the light of Christ. There are so many other things that seem to light up our lives in our modern society such as science or money or social norms. These things are not bad, but we cannot allow them to lead our lives so much that it overpowers the light of Christ. When all these “artificial” lights are taken away and we are just left in the darkness, we should still be familiar enough with the light of Christ to guide us. 

Sharing Christ's light

Our entire lives are filled with darkness where we can’t even see what is ahead of us. I don’t even know what I will be doing tomorrow, or next week or next year! I have no idea where I will be in 5 years, and if you had asked me 5 years ago where I would be right now, South Sudan probably would not have even made the list. Our lives are filled with so much darkness that most of the time we can’t even see what is one step ahead of us. However, just like the people coming out of Easter Vigil mass, we can use the light of Christ that we receive in mass to guide and illuminate our lives. Most of our lives will still be in the dark, but this light will allow us to see the right path. We could either fumble around in the dark, tripping on stray branches or twisting our ankles on the uneven ground, or we can use the light of Christ to illuminate our lives and guide us away from things that will hurt us and onto the right path.

Not only did they use the light of Christ that they received through the resurrection to guide them home, but in doing so they also brought Christ into their homes. How often do we go to church and just leave the church without getting anything out of it? So many of us go to church and are not changed in any way by it. We tend to think that God is for church, and has no business in our homes or everyday lives. However, this has challenged me to bring the light of God that I receive at Church home with me. It challenges me to let the light of God shine forth through me in my everyday life. 

There is a story that comes from ND Vision about a little boy who asked his father who the people in the stained glass windows were. The father tells the boy that they are the saints.  Months later,  when the child is in Sunday school and the teacher asks “Who are the saints?” the little boy responds, “The saints are the ones that the light shines through.” All of the saints let Christ’s light illuminate their lives. They took the light of Christ and used it to guide them on their journey through the darkness that is life. They took home God’s light and let it overtake and consume their lives. The saints received the light of Christ and let it shine forth in their lives. Our challenge is to allow God to do the same with us. 

Palm Sunday

Holy Thursday

Holy Thursday feet washing

Good Friday - Way of the Cross

Holy Saturday

Light

There is this phenomenon in our bodies called habituation or desensitization . We all have sensory receptors that are triggered whenever we are touch, smell, hear, or taste. However, after a while, we stop noticing the thing that is stimulating the receptors. For example, in the morning when you put on your shirt, you can feel the material against your skin. After a while, you forget about your shirt because you don’t feel it anymore. The sensory receptors in your skin have habituated to the shirt touch. You can also see this occur when you walk into a room and at first you could smell the room, however, after a couple of minutes, you realize that you do not smell the room anymore. Your sensory receptors in your nose have habituated itself to the smell. Maybe this is also the reason why we hardly ever realize what we have until we lose it. This could also be why we always see what we don’t have rather than value what we do have. 

For me, I never realized the value of electricity, and more specifically, light. Light was something that I have always had. I could just flick on the light switch and stay awake all night. Because of that, I don’t think I ever realized when the sun went down or how dark it could get so early into the night. It is something that has never been an issue with me since when the sun went down, I could turn on the lights and continue doing what I was doing until whatever time I wanted. I could study until 3:00 AM if I wanted to, I could eat at midnight, I could walk around and see everything in my room and get anything that I wanted. 

Here in Gumbo, most people are not afforded that luxury. Something that I quickly realized was that none of the houses here have any power, and thus, no light. Every night, when it gets dark, it gets dark. Everything has to be done during the day, the cooking and cleaning and studying all has to be done during the day since during the night they have nothing to light up the darkness. From this, I realized that it is hard for most of my students to put in the time to succeed in school. When I look back into my high school and college careers, I realize that most of my studying was done at night. In high school, I would have practice after school, get home and eat dinner and after dinner, when it was already dark outside, I would start my homework. In college, I would routinely stay awake until 2 or 3 AM studying and getting all my work done. However, my students don’t have that luxury. For many of them, the day ends at around 8:00 when the sun goes down. It is hard for them to review their notes because they can’t see their notes. Last year, when report cards were being handed out one of my students said that he could get higher marks, but he didn’t have any light so he couldn't study. 

The other week, we gave little solar powered lamps to the seniors at our school. We called them one by one to the office to hand them out. When they received it, their faces lit up. They had this look on their faces like “This was it!” It was like we had just given them the biggest opportunity of their lives. For them, the world opened up before their eyes as they received the lamps. It was like they could conquer the world now. As they walked out of the office they looked down at the light in their hands and could not help but smile. It made me think about when I had been so happy to receive a gift, when I could not help but to smile and be happy because of a small gift that someone gave me. Sadly, I could not think of one. It has been so long since I have ever had that feeling. It made me realize that way too often, I am too proud to admit that a gift or something will have a huge impact on my life. Many things that I have or have received have profoundly changed my life, but my pride gets in the way of looking at it with joy or thinking, “This is it!”

With everything that I have been blessed with at home, it has been easy to become habituated to the luxuries that are afforded to us. Because I already have everything that I could need, sometimes it is hard to think of any gift as something that could change my life and open up my world. However, seeing the joy on my student’s faces as their lives were changed by something as simple as a light has made me think about the things that I have become desensitized to in my life. It has challenged me to un-habituate myself and to look at all that I have and all the gifts I have received with the lit up eyes of my students. If I did that, then no matter how much or how little I have, I would still be joyful and content with what I have instead of being unhappy with what I don’t have. 

Here are some pictures of the IDP (Internally Displaced Peoples) Camp:

The stove which they use to cook