Is it enough?

Is it enough?

The chief thing is to take the burden on one's shoulder. As you press forward, it soon shakes down and the load is evenly distributed. – St. Don Bosco

Last July we were able to visit Kevin and to see the life he has embraced as Salesian Lay Missionary. It was an opportunity that we will always remember. In preparation for the trip we went shopping with the intention to share it with the people of Gumbo, especially the kids. However we realized no matter how much we bought, it would not be enough. 

When we got there we realized no amount of gifts were enough; however, Sharing Christ’s love by being presence with them: holding their hands, letting the kids to sit in my lap as we pray rosary and at Mass, taking their pictures and then showing it to them and sharing meals was also a gift. Yes, they need money to buy medicine, food, and to pay for teachers, we should be more generous in helping them. But LOVE must be the center of all effort in helping them. 

Did we do our part in taking the burden on one’s shoulder, as Don Bosco said?

We have seen the pictures of malnourished African children and the difficult life of women and families as refugees or Internal Displaced People (IDP).  But those pictures didn't justify the severity of their condition as our eyes could see.

In spite life misery that we could see, we also encountered the bravery, the determination, the courage of the Salesian priests, brothers, nuns, and lay missionaries who are there, not just for short time but for many years, some 20 years or more. They left their hometown/ countries and their comfort to be there to help these people.

This is unheard off in our daily life, who always think and focus on how well we can better our life by having more things and buying more things. On the contrary, we witness through the story of these missionaries.

Their focus in their life is to make  better the life of others, to give more, to  help more, and to establish security so  the people are protected, to make sure  the children would be fed daily. They look for ways on how to improve the living condition of these South Sudanese people.

Would a few days there be enough to make a different? This was the question that stayed with us in Gumbo.

God gave us opportunity to be the Eucharist. We were ready to embrace the days with whatever we could do to help.

All that we have was ourselves, our time, our patience, our smile, our hands to hold them, our hands to hug, to wipe their tears to recognize their suffering, and every day we brought everything we had in prayers.

Would that be enough to lessen their burden, or to shake the load to make it even?

   

Our sacrifice will never be enough, our help will always be short, but one thing we possess that we always have abundantly is the love of God. Only with Christ, are we able to do all these things.

Pray for our Priests, Sisters, Brothers, and Lay Missionaries. They need our financial support as well.

“Do good while you still have time…….” - Don Bosco

Mary help of Christian……..pray  for us.

Blessings to you,

Don and Lena Kho

Easter Light

Ever since spending Holy Week at Notre Dame my freshman year, that week had become one of my favorite weeks of the year. Everything at Notre Dame was so well planned, grand, and spiritual. The homilies were exquisite and complimented the insights that I was learning in theology class. Through seeing what Holy Week was truly about and why we celebrate it year after year, I really fell in love with the mystery and love that this week represents. South Sudan had some really big shoes to fill in terms of Holy Week liturgical celebrations.

Now, the liturgies here may not have been as grand, or well planned as in Notre Dame, nor the homilies very insightful, but it was absolutely perfect for me. The church in South Sudan is very young, so the foundation is still being set. Many people would call themselves Catholic, but most of them would not be able to tell you why they are Catholic, or what it means to be Catholic. Thus, it is very hard for them to see the true mystery and love that we celebrate during Holy Week and Easter. It is hard for them to plan a huge celebration or a grandiose liturgy when they do not understand why that is necessary. Because of this, the liturgies were very simple and almost like any other mass. It really was a change of pace for me, but perfect nonetheless. 

One of the things that really struck me that week happened during the Easter Vigil Mass. Actually, it wasn’t even during mass, but after mass. The mass started earlier than usual, at 7:00 PM because if it ends too late it becomes too dangerous for people to walk back to their homes. The candles were handed out at the soccer field, and we all processed to the church with these candles that were lit from the new Easter Candle, just like at home. In the middle of mass I got up and walked out of the church to take some pictures. I found so many people gathering right outside of the church! There were more people outside than inside! They were there, gathering together, not really paying attention to what was going on in the church. There were kids playing and people socializing. It was kind of strange to me, but the people had come not necessarily for the mass, but to gather together at night and socialize and play together. Although this is not ideal Church behavior, it made me think that the Church, especially during Easter, is a time to unite all people. It should not matter who the people are; all should be welcomed. So especially in South Sudan where people have been fighting for so many years, and violence was a part of their culture, it was great to see that during Easter, many people got to come together and be united, even if they were not necessarily there for the liturgy. 

The people emerging from the church, using the light of Christ to guide them home.

So the vigil mass went on maybe until 10:00 PM. Of course, the sun had already gone down. Like I have already written about in my previous blog post, people here do not have electricity and so they have no light. So at 10:00 PM it was pitch black and the people had to find their way home through uneven dirt roads. Then, an amazing thing happened. They took the candles they had received from the beginning of mass and lit them. They used this light to illuminate the darkness and guide them on their journey home. It was such a beautiful image to see hundreds of lit candles emerging from the church. It was as though they were taking the light of God that they had received at Church and using it to accompany them through the darkness back to their homes. Many of us receive the light of Christ at Church, but just leave it there because there is no use for it outside. Although a lot of the world has lit streets and an abundance of light, much of our lives are still filled with darkness. Maybe it is this abundance of artificial light that causes us to think that we don’t need the light of Christ. There are so many other things that seem to light up our lives in our modern society such as science or money or social norms. These things are not bad, but we cannot allow them to lead our lives so much that it overpowers the light of Christ. When all these “artificial” lights are taken away and we are just left in the darkness, we should still be familiar enough with the light of Christ to guide us. 

Sharing Christ's light

Our entire lives are filled with darkness where we can’t even see what is ahead of us. I don’t even know what I will be doing tomorrow, or next week or next year! I have no idea where I will be in 5 years, and if you had asked me 5 years ago where I would be right now, South Sudan probably would not have even made the list. Our lives are filled with so much darkness that most of the time we can’t even see what is one step ahead of us. However, just like the people coming out of Easter Vigil mass, we can use the light of Christ that we receive in mass to guide and illuminate our lives. Most of our lives will still be in the dark, but this light will allow us to see the right path. We could either fumble around in the dark, tripping on stray branches or twisting our ankles on the uneven ground, or we can use the light of Christ to illuminate our lives and guide us away from things that will hurt us and onto the right path.

Not only did they use the light of Christ that they received through the resurrection to guide them home, but in doing so they also brought Christ into their homes. How often do we go to church and just leave the church without getting anything out of it? So many of us go to church and are not changed in any way by it. We tend to think that God is for church, and has no business in our homes or everyday lives. However, this has challenged me to bring the light of God that I receive at Church home with me. It challenges me to let the light of God shine forth through me in my everyday life. 

There is a story that comes from ND Vision about a little boy who asked his father who the people in the stained glass windows were. The father tells the boy that they are the saints.  Months later,  when the child is in Sunday school and the teacher asks “Who are the saints?” the little boy responds, “The saints are the ones that the light shines through.” All of the saints let Christ’s light illuminate their lives. They took the light of Christ and used it to guide them on their journey through the darkness that is life. They took home God’s light and let it overtake and consume their lives. The saints received the light of Christ and let it shine forth in their lives. Our challenge is to allow God to do the same with us. 

Palm Sunday

Holy Thursday

Holy Thursday feet washing

Good Friday - Way of the Cross

Holy Saturday

Light

There is this phenomenon in our bodies called habituation or desensitization . We all have sensory receptors that are triggered whenever we are touch, smell, hear, or taste. However, after a while, we stop noticing the thing that is stimulating the receptors. For example, in the morning when you put on your shirt, you can feel the material against your skin. After a while, you forget about your shirt because you don’t feel it anymore. The sensory receptors in your skin have habituated to the shirt touch. You can also see this occur when you walk into a room and at first you could smell the room, however, after a couple of minutes, you realize that you do not smell the room anymore. Your sensory receptors in your nose have habituated itself to the smell. Maybe this is also the reason why we hardly ever realize what we have until we lose it. This could also be why we always see what we don’t have rather than value what we do have. 

For me, I never realized the value of electricity, and more specifically, light. Light was something that I have always had. I could just flick on the light switch and stay awake all night. Because of that, I don’t think I ever realized when the sun went down or how dark it could get so early into the night. It is something that has never been an issue with me since when the sun went down, I could turn on the lights and continue doing what I was doing until whatever time I wanted. I could study until 3:00 AM if I wanted to, I could eat at midnight, I could walk around and see everything in my room and get anything that I wanted. 

Here in Gumbo, most people are not afforded that luxury. Something that I quickly realized was that none of the houses here have any power, and thus, no light. Every night, when it gets dark, it gets dark. Everything has to be done during the day, the cooking and cleaning and studying all has to be done during the day since during the night they have nothing to light up the darkness. From this, I realized that it is hard for most of my students to put in the time to succeed in school. When I look back into my high school and college careers, I realize that most of my studying was done at night. In high school, I would have practice after school, get home and eat dinner and after dinner, when it was already dark outside, I would start my homework. In college, I would routinely stay awake until 2 or 3 AM studying and getting all my work done. However, my students don’t have that luxury. For many of them, the day ends at around 8:00 when the sun goes down. It is hard for them to review their notes because they can’t see their notes. Last year, when report cards were being handed out one of my students said that he could get higher marks, but he didn’t have any light so he couldn't study. 

The other week, we gave little solar powered lamps to the seniors at our school. We called them one by one to the office to hand them out. When they received it, their faces lit up. They had this look on their faces like “This was it!” It was like we had just given them the biggest opportunity of their lives. For them, the world opened up before their eyes as they received the lamps. It was like they could conquer the world now. As they walked out of the office they looked down at the light in their hands and could not help but smile. It made me think about when I had been so happy to receive a gift, when I could not help but to smile and be happy because of a small gift that someone gave me. Sadly, I could not think of one. It has been so long since I have ever had that feeling. It made me realize that way too often, I am too proud to admit that a gift or something will have a huge impact on my life. Many things that I have or have received have profoundly changed my life, but my pride gets in the way of looking at it with joy or thinking, “This is it!”

With everything that I have been blessed with at home, it has been easy to become habituated to the luxuries that are afforded to us. Because I already have everything that I could need, sometimes it is hard to think of any gift as something that could change my life and open up my world. However, seeing the joy on my student’s faces as their lives were changed by something as simple as a light has made me think about the things that I have become desensitized to in my life. It has challenged me to un-habituate myself and to look at all that I have and all the gifts I have received with the lit up eyes of my students. If I did that, then no matter how much or how little I have, I would still be joyful and content with what I have instead of being unhappy with what I don’t have. 

Here are some pictures of the IDP (Internally Displaced Peoples) Camp:

The stove which they use to cook

Lenten Reflection: Fasting

For lent, I want to try to write more in my blog. Not only do I want to write more about my experience here, but also provide a reflection of what my experiences have meant to me. By writing more, I hope to be able to better process and think about my limited time here as well as help you to get a glimpse into my life here and the lives of the people that I work with. Some of the stories that I share may be that of suffering. There is a lot of suffering. However, the purpose of these posts are not to make you feel pity for them or for you to be grateful for what you have because of what they lack. My goal is to challenge you through my experiences here in South Sudan. 

During Ash Wednesday, I saw many posts on Facebook linking to articles about Lent. Some of these articles were a reminder of the practices of Lent which had the rules for fasting. As I was reminded about the rules for fasting (eating one big meal and two smaller meals), I laughed to myself. This is more than I eat on a daily basis here! It is not that the community is not providing us with enough food, but that is just the way things are here. Despite my “less-than-fasting” diet, I still eat much more than the people here. Most people here eat only one meal per day. Even at school, a lot of my students cannot afford the 5 SSP ($1) lunch that the canteen provides. Not only do my students go through the entire day without eating, but they also have to sit in a classroom with 50-70 of their other classmates while it is over 100 degrees outside with no fans or air conditioning. These might sound like impossible conditions, but when there is no other option, it is not so bad.

As I think about it more, I realize that if children were subject to these kinds of conditions in the United States, parents would be outraged, and the school would probably be shut down. I have seen on the news about students or parents outraged by the food the cafeteria gives at lunch, or schools getting shut down when it is hot and the air conditioning breaks down at school. Or I have heard about parents getting angry when their child’s lunch was delayed by 2 hours while my children do not eat anything until they leave school because they cannot afford it. It makes me think, “How could people who were given so much and have so much always be unsatisfied while those that have nothing are grateful?” 

We often think that some conditions are impossible to survive. Before I came here, I was positive that I needed air conditioning. I knew that I would suffer here with the heat while having nowhere cold to escape to. I thought that I needed a certain amount of food to be alert and to be “okay.” These norms from the United States that were ingrained into me were all challenged when I came here. Things that I thought were necessary do not end up being necessary at all. Not only can I function in a classroom with no fans or air conditioning in 100+ degree weather, but I hardly even notice it anymore. Some days, I skip lunch and only eat half of a dinner because I know that is what my students go through. Although I might not be at the level as my students. I am challenging myself to experience how my students live. 

Although people here hardly eat, they are still extremely grateful for what they have. They are also very thoughtful towards others. Maybe it is because they know what it is like to be hungry,but part of their culture is to welcome in people who are not eating to share in the food. Although it might be my student’s only time to eat lunch that week, they would insist that I eat with them and share in their plate of food. Whenever I pass through the canteen to see how my students are doing, I am greeted with a chorus of all the different groups welcoming me to eat with them. Now, this is not just a polite greeting that they were trained to say, but they really insist that I eat with them. They try to pull up a seat and hand me a spoon so that I can partake in the meal with them. It is part of the their culture to always cook a lot of food when it is available, never eat alone, and to always leave a little left over. This is not so they can save the food until later, This is just in case there is another person that happens to walk by who the family is then able to greet and welcome into their meal. Whenever I go on runs around the village, People will always welcome me into their table to eat with them. Even though they do not eat much, eating is a big part of their culture. It is where they can show hospitality to another person by welcoming to join in. It is amazing how people who have nothing are more easily able to give away what they have. It would be so easy to just be selfish and eat more when you have more food. However, they know what it is like to be hungry, and they do not want others to feel that way. When they have, they are proud to be able to give it away and share with others.

A Dream Come True

Over ten years ago, before I committed to running track and field, I was a pretty good soccer player. It was my absolute favorite sport. It still is my favorite sport. I can still remember the thrill of putting on the AYSO uniform on Saturday mornings and going to the field. I felt like a professional soccer player. It is one of the best feelings that I can remember from my childhood. I completely loved soccer. 

I don’t remember when exactly, but I have this vague memory of seeing a picture or pamphlet at church or school or somewhere. You know how schools or churches always have those service fairs or presentations on some organization that helps the needy. It was one of those I think. All I can remember is that there was a picture of little children in Africa playing soccer. I thought to myself, “That is so cool! I want to do that!” Then later on through out my life I kept seeing pictures like that, of African children playing soccer, or of volunteers or missionaries playing soccer with African children. I wanted a picture like that. I wanted me to be the missioner in that picture. Even before I thought about doing service or helping the poor or anything like that, all I wanted was to have a picture of me playing soccer with African children. Even as I stopped playing soccer for many many years (something that I regret now) I still had that dream in the back of my mind. 

While I was trying to discern what service program to join after graduation, one of my criteria was having the chance to play soccer with the local people. That was one of my top priorities. If the program did not have that then it was a deal breaker for me. When I applied for the International Summer Service Learning Program at Notre Dame, one of the main reasons that I really wanted to go to Uganda was because there was a picture in the binder for Uganda with a past volunteer teaching PE and running around with a ball with the children. 

This is what has made South Sudan so perfect for me. When I was looking at site placements for the SLMs, Gumbo, South Sudan was the only site that had “sports ministry” under its description. Not only was it in Africa, but it also had “sports ministry” as a job description. It was absolutely perfect for me and immediately made it a priority to go there. I pushed pretty hard to go to South Sudan. 

Now that I am here it has been a dream come true. I am now the director of the youth center and get to play sports with friends and play with little kids as a part of my job. Every other day the Don Bosco FC team has practice on the football field right outside my house and they have been so welcoming and encouraging of me to play. Even though I am not nearly as good as I was when I was 10, and no where near as good or as fit as the people here, playing with them is a dream come true. 

As I have gotten better (or maybe they just feel bad for me) the team has welcomed me to play actual games with them. Last month, I was getting the ball ready for the upcoming match that afternoon. When I gave the balls to the team, they asked me why I didn’t have my football shoes on. It kind of caught me by surprise and I spit out some excuse for not playing. They kept encouraging me to play and get my shoes and so I finally did. Putting on the Don Bosco FC uniform was a dream come true for me. Not only did it bring me back to the days when I was a kid putting on the soccer uniform, but it also was a fulfillment of a life long dream (I realize that my life has not been that long, but over 10 years is pretty long for me). It was not just playing a friendly game of football, which I loved already, but I was actually getting to put on the uniform and represent the Don Bosco team and play in an actual game. It was a really special moment for me. I didn’t play very well… I probably shouldn’t have been put in the starting line up or even been playing at all, but I have come to appreciate the people here making a dream of mine come true. Since then, I have had more confidence to play and have been playing on the team whenever I get the chance as the only white guy on the field. And of course, I made my friend take some pictures. 

It is funny how a simple dream like wanting a picture of playing soccer with children in Africa has really taken off to change my life. If it was not for that dream, who knows if I would be in South Sudan right now. Of course I am here for more reasons than just getting a picture of myself playing soccer, but if it were not for that dream, I may have never considered spending over a year in Africa. Even the smallest dreams can lead you to wonderful unexpected places. 

Update On My Life:

As the new school year begins, I have a couple of new responsibilities at the secondary school where I work. Along with all of the administrative work that I do for the school, I am now the disciplinarian of the school (I laughed when the principal said he wanted me to fill this role, but apparently he was serious). I am also picking up more classes teaching Religion (Senior 1, 2, 3), Math (Senior 3,4) and Writing (Senior 3,4) for a total of 7 classes. It is sure to be an extremely busy year, but I am very excited to have all this work to do! I will try to do a better job keeping you updated from now on. 

A Christmas Reflection

Christmas and Advent are usually joyous and festive occasions for which people cannot wait because of all the presents and traditions that come with this time of year. However, here in South Sudan, it has been very different. First of all, there has been absolutely zero commercialization of Christmas. I have yet to see an ad or anything telling me to buy this or that, an advertisement showing something on sale, nor the media reminding me that I need to get something for my friends and family. Come to think of it, it doesn’t even feel like Christmas at all. In what is usually a festive and joyful time in my life, I have sensed a different kind of environment here. It is one of fear. On December 15, 2013 fighting broke out in Juba where Machar, the ex-vice president tried to stage a coup and take over the government. This started a month or more of fighting when the volunteers from last year had to go to Kenya for some time. This year, there have been rumors that the rebels may use this as a rallying point. Many here were, and still are, scared that fighting will break out once more. Luckily, it seems as if the government is prepared for an attack this time and has beefed up its defenses, which means that there has not been any fighting as of yet. However, with this anniversary coming in Advent, so close to Christmas, and especially Gaudete Sunday, the season has taken a more somber and cautious tone. One can wonder, how is it even possible to rejoice (gaudete) when such fighting threatens to break out at any point? Back at home, it never really seemed that hard to rejoice during Advent and Christmas. It meant that there was much less time until I got to open all the presents and eat cookies, etc. Although finals week came during Advent and I would have been stressed, I knew that it would be over soon and I would be at home to celebrate Christmas at home with no homework or studying to do. However, here it is a little bit harder to rejoice. Many here can easily think back to last year and remember exactly where they were on December 15th when the fighting started. They can recall the fear and the nervousness they experienced. Last year, they could not even decorate the church for Christmas because the refugees had fled the killings in their villages and came to seek shelter here. They were sleeping in the Church in fear for their lives. Although fighting has not broken out this year, you could still sense tension in the people’s faces during this time. Christmas has taken a back seat as they worry about surviving. So how can we rejoice? The word “gaudete” is in the imperative form of the verb “to rejoice.” This means that we are being commanded to feel joy. Even through all the pain and suffering, we are still told to be joyful. Why? How? Henri Nouwen describes joy as “the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing -- sickness, failure, emotional distress, oppression, war, or even death -- can take that love away." It is because we know that Christ is much greater than all this suffering and will love us regardless. It is because we know the extent of Christ’s love where He sacrificed everything to become human, to become one of His own creation to freely offer his life for the mistakes and sins that they committed. It is the time when our God lowered himself to nothing to give us everything. That is why despite the pain and suffering that people may be experiencing, we are still called to rejoice. It is part of the reason why refugees come to this compound and ask to sleep in the church. They feel protected in the Church; they feel safe. They feel joy. This is why despite this time of tension and bad memories, people will still flock to the church on Christmas to celebrate the coming of the one who loves us unconditionally.

The Church decorated for Christmas

Setting up for Midnight mass

Mamas waiting for Christmas Mass

14 children were baptized that night.

The manger for baby Jesus that I helped to decorate

Someone's attempt at taking a picture of me

The nativity scene that I helped to build